Operation: Teriyaki Pudovkin

Centenary Park, London

Summer, 2011

Agent: Natalie Olivier

Mission: Using powers of elusiveness, sneakiness, and awesomeness, infiltrate Centenary Park and capture the ever elusive Gagglehopper.

. . . . .

Natalie hummed her super secret spy music as she ducked behind trees and bushes, sneaking along the edge of the park. The treeline was the perfect way to sneak up on her prey. She signaled her imaginary team of fellow super secret spies that the coast was clear, and she somersaulted past a small clearing before taking cover behind some shrubbery. She heard a rustle coming towards her but did not look to see who or what it was, just in case it was her prey.

"Take cover, the Gagglehopper approaches!" she hissed to her imaginary crew before attempting to slink further into the brush so she could spy without being seen.

Liz blinked at the girl sneaking through the bushes, intrigued. What was she doing? She jumped as the girl spoke and then grinned, pulling the bag further up onto her shoulder. "Hello," she said pleasantly, hoping she would turn. She struggled to keep the smile on her face.

You should smile more often, Kyra had said only a few days ago. She wondered if the Hufflepuff had realized how seriously Liz had taken her words. Nevertheless, she continued to smile softly, though not nearly as wide as possible. "What are you doing?" she asked with a blink, obviously confused.

"SHH!!!" Natalie jumped to her feet, clasped her hand over the girl's mouth, and pulled her down into the bushes. "It will hear you," she hissed.

She looked around but couldn't see it anywhere. "I don't know where it's gotten off to, but it can't be far. Congratulations Soldier. You've just been drafted into the Gagglehopper hunt. I'm Commander Natalie Olivier. Now keep your head down, and whatever you do, don't whistle," she warned.

Liz eyes widened as her mouth was muffled and she was pulled behind her bushes by the strange girl. She watched as she explained her mission, and her eyebrows rose more with each word. But then, strangely, she smiled; well, she had been in a childish mood lately.

"Yes, ma'am!" she whispered dutifully, saluting as she crouched on her knees before something else occurred to her. "Ah...what's a Gagglehopper look like?"

"Grunt Liz McCutney," she agreed, a rather distant smile hitting her face this time. "The hunt begins..."

Natalie paused when Liz asked what a Gagglehopper looked like. She looked around to make sure it wasn’t gaining on them. When she was satisfied that they were safe for a moment, she grabbed a stick and started to sketch in the dirt.


“That is a Gagglehopper,” she said quietly, poking the drawing with the stick when she was finished. “Don’t let its looks fool you. It’s fast, it’s tricky, and it likes to eat people’s hair,” she nodded gravely.

“Our mission is to catch it, before it catches us,” she said as she looked around again to make sure the coast was still clear. “Alright Private McCutney, let’s move!” she jumped to her feet and then dove past a gap in the foliage to take cover behind another tree.

(Drawing by David Oswald, who is awesome)

Liz watched carefully as Natalie drew in the mud with a stick, and had to stifle a giggle at the pure hastiness of it. "It's beautiful," she declared in awe, listening carefully as she explained the powers of the creature. She nodded seriously. "Yessum, General," she deadpanned. "How exactly does it eat your hair?"

As soon as Natalie started moving, Liz hadn't a clue what to do. Was she supposed to follow the girl or split up? She eventually decided to simply duck behind the tree next to her, watching carefully for the leader's next move. She felt rather silly, but at the same time, adrenaline was pumping through her. She felt happy. She felt free.

Natalie wasn't sure how to describe the hair eating process at first. "It's sort of... It latches itself to your head and sucks the hair right off you," she said, wrinkling her nose. She didn't want the Gagglehopper to get her; she'd look funny bald. "The idea is that we get it before it gets us."

She looked around but saw nothing, which could either be a bad thing or a good thing. Suddenly she heard a rustle in a nearby bush and froze. "Did you hear that?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

She made a face and clutched her hair protectively. "That sounds disgusting and incredibly uncomfortable," she decided, wondering whether she should draw her hair into a high ponytail to make it harder to reach. She eventually decided to simply leave it down, though not before seriously weighing the risks.

She stopped every movement--even breathing--when she heard the noise. "Yeah," she agreed, only barely able to hear her own voice. "Should we check it out, General?" Something about calling Natalie 'General' boosted her morale a lot more than it should've.

"Affirmative," Natalie flipped the hood of her jacket up over her head so that her hair was protected from a possible attack from the Gagglehopper, if that was really what was hiding in the bush.

She crouched down low and crept toward the bush like Pocahontas, from a kids movie that she'd seen once. She peeked in between the branches and saw...

"Just a normal rabbit, Private McCutney," she reported, standing up and looking around. Still nothing. Where was this damn thing hiding?!

Liz winced at the conformation of her 'disgusting' theory; that was the last thing she needed on a search. She wondered if there was a hat or something she could put her hair into to avoid it being eaten, but after a quick glance around realized that there were absolutely no hats in the vicinity. She sighed and, after a thoughtful moment, put it into a ponytail high on her head, glancing at Natalie for approval.

She was so disappointed, she could have stamped her foot. "Dang it," she grumbled before seeing movement out of her eye. She instantly whipped around and had it in her hand before sighing and dropping the animal, letting it scurry out once more. "Squirrel," she sighed, rather disappointment that their search hadn't yielded much yet.

Natalie searched her mind. What did Gagglehoppers like besides hair? Think, Natalie, think!

She suddenly remembered what she'd read in the latest issue of Obscure Creatures Quarterly. Without waiting another moment, she placed her foot against the trunk of a thick tree and hoisted herself up into it, moving from branch to branch easily as she moved upwards. Gagglehoppers liked to get the upper hand, which meant gaining a better vantage point.

"Come on, Private McCutney, no time to lose. If we're going to find it, we need to go up!" she called down to Liz.

Liz watched her think before the girl brightened up and started to climb up, the Ravenclaw blinking after her and her instructions before shrugging and hauling herself onto the first branch. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite as nimble as Natalie was and had to go branch by branch. About halfway up the tree, her foot slipped and she was hanging onto with only her hands, one of which slipped off. She immediately did what any rational person would do: Screamed and squeezed her eyes closed. Never again. She was never going anywhere off the ground, EVER again.

After a few moments, she remembered that she was supposed to be silent and abruptly stopped screaming. As her hand slipped and she tried and failed to regain her footing, she managed to squeak out, "Ah...General Olivier? Help?"